Hey, peeps, I’m nursing a rotator cuff injury (bad injury for a writer but at least it’s my left shoulder!), plus it’s March break here in T.O. so I’m busy doing fun family stuff. No worries–I’ll be back next week with a fresh and provocative (hopefully!) blog post. P.S. I typed this with one hand–aren’t you impressed? P.S.S. Anybody else out there ever suffer a rotator cuff injury? Any tips?
Hang on Till Next Week!
March 16th, 2010What I Learned About Writing at the Oscars
March 9th, 20101) Wit and originality trump all. Best presenters of the night? Tina Fey and Robert Downey Junior. Tina’s writing hand was all over their schtick. RDJ’s line about actors and writers (“handsome, talented people” versus “little mole people”)? Fabulous.
2) Keep it real. Beware of elaborate gimmicks, a la Ben Stiller’s Pandora native costume. Make sure your words come from the heart, a la Sandra Bullock.
3) Don’t give it anything but your best. Back to Tina and Robert again. They clearly loved their presentation and could therefore deliver it with gusto. Other presenters (ahem, Cameron Diaz), seemed bored and unprepared.
4) Look good when you pitch your book in person. Presenters are pitching themselves, and they know if they look great, they’ll feel great. If you’re pitching your book to an editor at a conference, say, try to dress in a way that both makes you feel good and reflects your personality. That stunning strapless gown of Carey Mulligan’s was embellished with odd little miniature things–scissors and bolts and so on. A great combination of class and daring–just like the girl wearing it.
5) Enjoy the journey. Try to channel Gabourey S. at every big moment! After all, we have no way of knowing what’s ahead for us…
Top Ten Newbie Mistakes
March 1st, 2010As the owner of a popular manuscript critique service, I regularly read manuscripts by newbies to the publishing game. Following is a list I’ve compiled of the top ten mistakes I see newbies making. The first few are related to format and process; the next few, to the actual writing:
1) Don’t include supplementary material unless requested by the agent or editor. Such material includes dedication/acknowledgment pages. Sending these at the beginning of the process marks you as a rank amateur with no understanding of the biz, not to mention a presumptuous git. This material also includes resumes and marketing plans, etc., unless you’re writing a non-fiction book.
2) Don’t single-space your manuscript. Double-space it. And indent at new paragraphs. And don’t put extra space between paragraphs.
3) Don’t send anybody a manuscript with a crazy word count. Only Stephen King can get away with a thousand-page manuscript. And only Francesca Lia Block can get away with a young adult novel the size of a short story (unless you’re writing for a line specifically geared to reluctant readers).
4) Don’t send anybody a manuscript littered with spelling and grammar errors. Run Spellcheck before you send your manuscript anywhere. Please.
5) Don’t send anybody a book without a story. By that I mean you should avoid episodic plots. Create a strong central storyline and properly build it up in a suspenseful manner to a climax. (It’s worth taking the time to outline; this is where ‘pantsers’ fall down.) Sending your fantasy hero and heroine on a journey? It’s not enough to keep putting them in a series of unrelated dangerous situations. Create a bad guy (or gal) who gives them grief from the very beginning and build suplots from there (e.g. bad guy blackmails hero and heroine’s friend, who ends up betraying hero and heroine). Similarly, don’t write a book about somebody’s year at high school. Write about one particular incident and its repercussions.
6) Don’t write a book until you have something to say. Your book needs to have a theme. What’s the *point* of your story? What are you trying to *say*? If you have nothing to say, why are you writing a book? Oh, and make sure your theme and plot work together to form a cohesive whole.
7) Don’t send anybody a book without a unique voice. Voice is what makes a manuscript sparkle, and in today’s publishing climate, your manu has to really sparkle to get anywhere.
Somewhat related to point #5, don’t forget to surprise. You must continually surprise the reader and create new twists in your story. Avoid the saggy middle.
9) Show, don’t tell. Scenes should consist largely of action and dialogue, not narrative.
10) Don’t include purposeless scenes. Each and every scene and chapter in your book should somehow forward your plot.
Oh, also (okay, it’s my top eleven newbie mistakes), remember to go deep with your characterization. Show us your main character’s thoughts. Know your characters inside and out before you begin writing and apprise the reader of their backgrounds (but not using long info dumps) so your reader can know them, too.
Best of luck, all!
What I Learned About Writing at the Olympics
February 16th, 2010Well, from *watching* the Olympics, anyway!
-You’ve gotta put in the hours. Alexandre Bilodeau, who won Canada’s first gold medal on Sunday (and Canada’s first ever gold on home soil!), keeps saying in interviews that he put in four hard years of training for 23 seconds. All you aspiring writers out there, take note. Before you even put pen to paper, read, take classes and join writers’ organizations. When you are finally ready to write a book, outline like crazy, and make sure your story, craft and voice are all in superlative shape before you submit to agents and editors.
-Focus on what’s important. Anybody watch the pairs figure skating on Sunday night (the short program)? Didja happen to catch the Ukraine pair’s electric blue catsuits that were described by commentators and bloggers as ’superhero costumes’ and ‘Blades of Glory rejects’? (If not, go to http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/02/15/olympic-pairs-short-programs/ ). Um, it’s all about the skating, Ukraine peeps. Just as writing is all about the writing, writer peeps. Work on getting the important stuff right before you start to tweet and blog and so on–especially if you’re unpublished!
-Keep things in perspective. Canadian snowboarding silver medalist (sorry for all the Canadian references, American friends!) Mike Robertson said on Monday, “As soon as I came up short on that jump I knew someone was going to pass me. But whatever, I’m second. My expectations were just to come here and have fun and enjoy the show. It’s the Olympics. It’s apparently a big deal.” Uh, yeah, it is, Mellow Mike. Just as getting a book published is, peeps. So quit yer bellyaching about how so-and-so just got a bigger advance than you did, or better marketing support from her publisher (well, okay, I kinda get that one), or a book tour, blah, blah, blah. If you’ve had a book published, you’re one of a lucky few. You’re bound to experience disappointments and setbacks along the way, even once you’re published (even more, maybe–there’ll be a whole new set of things to disappoint you and set you back!) so you might as well just relax and enjoy the ride…
What I Learned About Writing at the Movies
February 10th, 2010Phew. Various crises (computer issues, sick kid, sick dad) have now been averted, and regular life can continue! Regular life for me includes going to the movies at least once a month. I think going to the movies regularly is as important for a writer as reading regularly. Yeah, that’s my line and I’m sticking to it. No, seriously, movies can teach you a whole lot about writing. Here are just a few things I’ve learned from movies I’ve seen over the past few months:
A Single Man: Write what you know. Apparently Tom Ford read Christopher Isherwood’s 1964 book of the same name as a young man and was deeply affected by it. When he decided to make a movie after working as a fashion designer for many years, he chose to adapt the book he connected to on an obviously very personal level. The love and passion he has for the material shines through. (And the costumes and sets aren’t bad, either!)
Avatar: Go the extra mile. Creating a whole new film technology and a real, working language was crazy expensive, but James Cameron’s efforts paid off in droves.
Up in the Air: Be true to your own style. Writer/Director/Producer Jason Reitman has said in an interview that he would have made the worst Ghostbusters (directed and produced by his father, Ivan Reitman) ever–all the characters would have been sitting around *talking* about ghosts! While he has deep respect for his father’s ability to entertain, the younger Reitman continues to make talky movies about morals in his own inimitable style, and hits home runs every time.
Sherlock Holmes: Don’t mess around too much with classic genre stuff. (I missed my gentlemanly, erudite Holmes!)
The Hurt Locker: Don’t be constrained by so-called rules. You’ll be hard-pressed to find evidence of a three-act structure or turning points in this one. It’s completely episodic and makes no apologies for being so. The movie is a faux-documentary about a bomb squad’s 30-day tour in Iraq. The ‘plot’ comes from wondering whether the squad will live through it. Period.
And then there’s the movie that just came out that sparked an idea–well, gave me the final piece in the puzzle of an idea I had long been thinking about. Stay tuned for details…!
On My Own…Again
February 1st, 2010I love being a writer. Well, let me amend that. I love most parts about being a writer. I don’t love the rejections (and make no mistake, even published authors get them), I don’t love the glacial pace at which the sale/publication process works, and I especially don’t love the business aspects of the job–the contract negotiations, the ‘branding’ considerations, and the promotional stuff (well, okay, I might like that part better if I had more TIME!).
I do love the creativity of the job and the flexibility it gives me. I also freelance edit, and I can drop my editing or writing at any time if one of my kids wants to talk, or if I have to take somebody to the doctor. And I love that I can make myself a cup of my fave coffee anytime. And that I can work in my sweat pants. And that I don’t have to make tons of small talk or deal with office politics (both of which I had to do regularly when I worked as an in-house editor at a large publishing company–I wasn’t very good at either).
Which isn’t to say I don’t occasionally miss having co-workers around. When you’re feeling blue, the isolation only deepens the shade. And when you’ve just started a new project and have no idea if you’re on the right track (that’s, um, me right now), it can be a real drag only having yourself to answer to. Sure, I have an agent–an agent who used to be an editor, no less, and is supremely qualified to give me insightful feedback. But unfortunately, she currently has three other projects of mine in various stages sitting on her desk–or rather, in her computer’s hard drive–and I can’t, in all good conscience, saddle her with another one. I also belong to a great writer’s group, but one of our members just had a baby, another’s taking a break from writing, and the third is killing herself writing a couple of books I just happen to be freelance editing for her publisher. (Sorry about those crazy deadlines, M!)
So for now, I’m on my own…again. Definitely both a blessing and a curse. What think you, peeps?
DIY = DIWhy?
January 25th, 2010Yeah, so you know how on all those HGTV shows, the designers are always showing people how to make their own easy and cheap artwork? And you know how I mentioned at the end of last week’s blog post that I was looking to redecorate my house cheaply and chicly? Upon returning home from my December vacay, it struck me that my living room walls were altogether too white and bare. Writers, you know how you feel after reading a manuscript after being away from it–suddenly all the problem areas come clear? That’s how I felt. Art, I realized! I needed art! The catch: as a freelance editor and YA writer, I couldn’t afford any, unless a publishing miracle in the HP/Twilight vein suddenly occured…
It didn’t (though I may have some sale news for you soon–stay tuned!). So, yeah. I attempted to make my own artwork. This, despite the fact that my brief elementary art career was a joke. I still remember a teacher asking us to draw snowflakes. Mine were asterisk-type jobs when everyone else had graduated (unbeknownst to moi) to fancy freehand Spirograph-like thingies. Oh, the shame! Apparently, my creative gift with words did not automatically translate to visual art…
So it was no surprise that this weekend’s first attempts at DIY art-making were epic fails, as my teens would (and did) say. About halfway through the weekend, I realized I needed to, well, cheat. Instead of painting a picture from scratch, why not make use of stampers and such? So it was off to my local art supply store where I picked up a couple of stampers with elegant but modern home dec type patterns. (Would have liked to buy some of those great new wall sticker things, but they were all a tad *too* modern for the space…) I rushed home to paint over a couple of the canvases and stamp away. Instant gorgeousness! It was then I was inspired to cut some gorgeous flowers off of a roll of wrapping paper I’d bought at holiday time. They had a hand-painted look, and when I glued them onto a repainted canvas, the result was stunning!
Okay, so the reviews are mixed on one original canvas I left hanging. It’s basically a red-painted canvas with some black magic marker scribbling on it. I was inspired by a picture of a painting I saw in Vogue. (Why is it that when something’s in Vogue, it looks great, but when it’s on your wall, people just shake their heads and say, “Why?”)
But I like it. And hey, that’s what art’s all about, right? At least, that’s gonna be my line until that publishing miracle comes through…
The Great Yoga Pants Debate
January 18th, 2010Lots to think about this day of my first blog post: Haiti (please go to your fave charity’s website and give online if you haven’t already); medal winners (ALA and Golden Globe, though, as an author, I have to say I’m thinking more about the ALA winners–congrats, all!); and my work (employment-wise, 2010’s started off with a bang). I recently landed an assignment writing an essay on True Blood for an upcoming anthology (nothing like watching TV all day for work!) and a nice steady editing gig with a new book packager (insanely excited about the first two series I’m working on). Plus, I have a few manuscripts with my agent that I’m hoping will see some action soon.
But what I seem to be thinking about the most these days (to my everlasting shame) is yoga pants. More specifically, I’m wondering, a la Sarah Jessica Parker, if, as the mother of two teenagers, I should still be wearing yoga pants–when I’m not doing yoga, that is.
Not because I’m overweight or out of shape. Au contraire, after a year of intense physiotherapy post cartilage replacement surgery on my knee, I have no butt, and some extremely well defined (but not too bulky) quads and calves. And I weigh exactly the same as I did in high school: 110 pounds, soaking wet.
But something’s changed recently. I find myself not wanting to wear pants that show every curve. Stupid? I really don’t know. I’m aware the line between what older and younger people wear is far blurrier these days than it was when I was a kid. And loads of 40 and 50-somethings wear YPs regularly when they’re out and about. I saw the movie Did You Hear About the Morgans over the holidays (yeah, I know, but I was with my daughter, and between us, we’d seen everything else), and spent the whole hour and a half marvelling at (none other than) SJP’s butt. The movie was practically an ode to it.
Part of it may be that I hate thongs–which you pretty much have to wear with yoga pants to avoid embarrassing panty lines. I mean, wearing a thong sort of negates the whole comfort thing, right? The reason I started wearing yoga pants regularly in the first place is because I work at home all day and want to stay comfortable–but not have to change clothes every time I step out the door (to run to the post office, drug store, etc.). Maybe as I get older, I’m just a little less willing to do all that’s expected of me (and I could be talking about more than yoga pants now…)
The alternatives aren’t pretty. Sweat pants are even more inappropriate for women of a certain age, aren’t they? Plus, they make you look blobby, even if you’re not. And the ’semi-fitted’ options at the discount stores are awful, IMHO.
What’s a 40-something to do? Please help me find a solution so I can finally stop obsessing and moving on to something that’s probably a little more deserving of 24-hour contemplation–like, say, how I can renovate my home on the cheap. But that’s a whole ‘nother blog post…



